49 places it’s not good to fart (for Peter Greenaway)

1. In a fox hole
2. When it is expected of you
3. In a fiat
4. When you are not favored by the wind
5. When you might be bested by a child
6. In a crypt
7. In your crypt
8. A cheese shop
9. The hot dog corner at a 7 eleven
10. While being tattooed
11. A prostate exam
12. While getting a caricature
13. On a Chihuahua
14. On a manhole being captained by a pirate
15. At a seminar on flatulence (too obvious)
16. At jimmy buffet’s yacht
17. While playing parcheesi
18. In the Mississippi river
19. Beside a coma patient
20. Anywhere in Greenland
21. While attempting to spell disambiguate
22. On so you think you can dance
23. A Sergio Leone film
24. An oyster farm
25. A closet at the playboy mansion
26. Within 5 feet of a Burma shave ad
27. Anywhere socks are mended
28. While being fondled in a cemetery
29. When you have to pee
30. During a performance of les miserable (one would assume the opposite)
31. Behind a donkey (for obvious reasons)
32. Within 5 meters of a campfire
33. While employed by wal mart
34. When shopping for Korean china
35. While wearing a burka
36. At the corner of a street named after a tree and one named after a civil war hero
37. While fasting
38. When the killer is in the next room
39. After someone has burned popcorn
40. While miming
41. At a meeting of the Enrico Fermi fan club
42. Beside an aging mousekateer
43. While squeezing feta
44. When opening a ‘66 lafitte
45. While apprehending a counterfeiter
46. Under a tamarind tree
47. While eulogizing
48. Within 5 seconds of someone saying the word spunk
49. When interviewing a new chaplain